Monday, June 20, 2011

Released into the Woods

I'm sorry I haven't posted the last few days. I went off into the woods to do some camping and figured I'd post some interesting stories from the road. Instead I had no cell coverage. C'est la vie.

That said, camping is fun. This is a confirmed fact. If you don't think so you have either:
a) Been raised improperly by parents who were raised improperly, or
b) Been attacked by a bear.

I guess there are other shades of gray in there, but I think my definitions hit 90% of the cases so I'm going to stick with them as stated. For instance, this trip was plenty o' fun even with "the fishing incident".

So here's the story: Erika and I decided we wanted to go out onto the little lake that's near the campground. We decided to go fishing, since Erika loves fish about as much as anyone can love something that doesn't blink*. I rowed us around the lake for a while, but eventually Erika insisted that it was my turn to fish.

In all fairness, I haven't cast a fishing rod since I was about 9 years old. My memory of the process consists of: Push this button and line comes out, spin this reel and line comes in. So given that I had seen Erika playing out line behind the boat for us to troll, we had this conversation:

PAUL: Where's the button to release the line?
ERIKA: Just pull on the line and it will come out.

This worked fine and dandy until I got a nibble that stole my bait and I reeled in. I decided I would cast this time.

Now folks, this is where the disagreement kicks in. I was of the belief that our previous conversation meant these newfangled lines didn't have releases like the technology I used in the mid-80's. Erika counters with the fact that she never said there wasn't a release and I didn't clarify before casting (apparently you just pull it out when trolling, if you use the release it effs everything up. I know! I didn't know that either!)**. One thing we can both agree on though: When you don't trigger the release on you reel and you cast as hard as you possibly can to make absolutely sure you out-throw your wife, you're going to destroy any hope of your fishing line staying in one piece. You'll also end up with a large splash very far from your boat that pretty much puts an end to the fishing. On the plus side, we were able to salvage the floater that was, you guessed it, floating 25 feet from the boat.

Apparently I still have some things to learn about fishing. Camping though? Camping's awesome.

*Actually, we were going to go out in a pedal boat but Erika got excited and came back with a rowboat and fishing gear. This happens from time to time.
**Erika insists that she is only responsible for 10% of the blame. I argue it's more like 100% her, 0% me, so a fair comprimise would be 55% her and 45% me. I think I can find it in my heart to accept that.


  1. Am tired and late for bed but this made me laugh ... and hanker for The Wilderness ( sans new-fangled fishing rod.. but a nifty state -of- the- art harpoon might do the trick)
    So great to have you back in the Complete Tangent Saddle , after a short hiatus !

  2. Wow. Really? 45%. That is shocking. I don't know what kind of crappy push button reel you used as a 9-year-old, but I was raised with simple, spin-casting reels. Flick the silver metal bar back, hold the line with your finger, cast, release, sploosh. Simple.

    As previously stated, I will take 10% blame for not double-checking that you knew what you were doing. No more. Don`t try and Morphy me.

    And blinking is over-rated. Fish are awesome.

  3. I think I remember the first time you went fishing,on tiny Tuc-El-Nuit lake in Oliver with our next door neighbour Mr. Fry.I seem to recall you guys were out there all day in a little boat and came back fishless.In support of your story above, I'm not sure how much fishing instruction happened that day because he was a man of few words. But I could be all wrong.More importantly, could someone please define the verb 'to morphy'...

  4. I have fond memories of that reel. I used to cast it in my bedroom, often hooking the carpet and occasionally myself. I would have gone to a lake but we were too poor.

  5. Morphy (verb): Morphy'd,Morphy, Morphing

    1. To accept a small percentage of responsibility for a given incident, despite deserving a large percentage of responsibility.

    2. To pretend to you have a PhD when you don't.

    3. To disappear and go to bed early without telling anyone.

    In this case, Paul is guilty of definition #1.

  6. Despite being a high-powered lawyer, Morphy couldn't work out how to post in the comments section. Here is his response:

    "Morphy needs to weigh in here.

    1. Re: the "incident" to which Erika refers. I initially admitted some blame. Later, our esteemed and wise friend Mike Rudberg graciously agreed to assign blame for the incident in a fair and impartial manner. The verdict? 100% blame to Erika, 0% to Morphy, 0% to Tye. Rudberg says Erika needs to show more self control if she wants to call herself a doctor. Case closed.

    2. I do have a PhD, just ask Mastercard. Actually, it's now expired. Yup, the card I got to bug Erika for being too slow getting her PhD is now expired.

    3. That is fair."